Relationships are not a tool. They are the primary context of development.

As Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month is coming to an end,  I want to step back and reflect on the foundations that guide our work. For me, one of those foundations is a developmental understanding of how people grow. This is not a new idea. But it is one that continues to shape how I think about support, learning, and human potential.

Development is not a checklist of skills. It is a process that unfolds over time, built on foundational capacities like regulation, engagement, and communication. These capacities grow from the inside out and from the bottom up. When we focus only on observable behaviors, we can miss what gives those behaviors meaning. We may see words, but miss communication. We may see compliance, but miss connection.

A developmental approach, such as DIR®, asks us to look deeper. It brings together emotional development, individual differences, and relationships into a coherent way of understanding the whole person. And at the center of it all is a reminder I come back to often: Relationships are not a tool. They are the primary context of development.

This month, as we reflect, perhaps the question is not which strategies we use, but how well our approaches truly support development in a meaningful, human way.